34, Update

I need to start getting on here more. I just don't feel like that many interesting things are going on. I've kind of been floating through life.
Ever since my high on delsym I've been thinking weird. Kind of weird. I was thinking about existence and perceiving things when I was out there and I've still been thinking about how those things work.
I wonder what is real. If I look at a tree, am I just seeing what I call a tree, or am I looking at a tree? What I am looking at is something with light reflecting off of it and going into my eyes which translate the light into something my brain can understand. Making me see a tree. So am I looking at a tree or am I seeing a tree? What is it that I am really looking at? What is the object before the signals are translated? I've heard that everything is just energy in different forms. So is life just a huge clusterfuck of vibrating energy and us experiencing it in different ways making us into the different people we are with different beliefs and opinions and views? Is there a point to continue?
I like experience, so yes. But what would happen if I didn't continue?
These are just some of the thoughts that have been going through my head lately.
Robert is distant at some times and not at others. I like him. I don't like how I can't reach him sometimes. All of the other boyfriends I've had, I have been able to reach whenever I wanted to. Robert is really busy at some times and it makes me wonder if I'm important to him or whether he is really that busy.
Maybe I'm just learning not to be too attached.
I've been less concerned with my eating lately. The less I worry about it the better it seems to work out. My body is looking nice, but I could lose some. I need to start working out again.
I'm going to.