Third..

Okay! So yesterday I went to the fair and I stayed until like 2AM. It was really fun, I had a great time. I was kind of a wildd child though haha. I met some people I had only talked to over MySpace before and it was pretty cool.
Today I went to the mall with my friends to pick out homecoming dresses (not for me LOL), and then I came home and I saw that I was being talked about in comments on MySpace by this guy & ****. The guy I told you about before. My ex told him that I said he.. well something really weird. So I was like "omfg this is bullshit" and I talked to him and tried to explain everything and what went on last year. I really hope he doesn't hate me anymore. I really do..
He said we could be "texting buddies" when I said he didn't have to be friends with me if he didn't want to. So maybe there's hope. :) I really hope so. I want to be friends with him so badly.. maybe more. But I highly doubt that will ever happen. I just don't want him to hate me. I have no idea why I'm so obsessed concerned with what he thinks about me.
I hope things get better from here.
I'm still feeling very optimistic.
I hope I can lose some weight. I'm feeling pretty chubby.. People tell me that I'm really skinny and that I don't need to lose any weight and that I need to gain, but I don't believe them. That's just what you say to people who are you friends. You wouldn't tell them they were fat. I don't want to do anything with my boyfriend right now because he might think I'm fat. He told me he thinks I'm super skinny and that I look nice.. but I don't. I want to be able to- no I need to be able to live up to my own expectations.
or not live at all.